We’ve talked (a lot) about what reading is—and trust me, it is many things. You can also trust me that we’ll continue to talk even more about what reading is. But it also helps to discuss what reading is not. If only because that will help us identify reading by process of elimination.

Here’s a (hopefully humorous) list of a few things that reading is not.

This list could go on forever, but I’ll keep it limited to a few important items of note.

• writing
• sleeping
• painful
• a waste of time
• skydiving
• passive
• eating
• murder
• something invertebrates do
• cruel and unusual
• Rock ‘n Roll
• for losers
• illegal
• three sick walruses
• a lost art form
• Ralph Nader
• Impossible